THE FISHMONGER

A customer at the Tesco's fresh fish counter marvelled at the fishmonger's quick wit and intelligence.

"Tell me, Fishmonger, what makes you so brainy?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," the fishmonger replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. "Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only £2 a piece," he says

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough, " said the fishmonger. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey you," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for £2 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for a £1. You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" said the Fishmonger. "You're more intelligent already."

MENSA

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe.

While dining, they discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa!

The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker.."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.