HOW TO WASH A CAT

This was simply too much of a timesaver not to share it with you.


1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl...


2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.


3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.


4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!


5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'Power-Wash' and 'Rinse'.


6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.


7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.


8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.


9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours Sincerely,


The Dog

BAPTIST CAT

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the
open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that
before he joined my church."

The Third Person in History to Walk on Water

(First was Jesus


Then his disciple Peter)

Wireless Technology

ANGER MANAGEMENT

GOODBYE MOM

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout and, as she was on her way out of the store,the man called out, "Good-bye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk..

"That can't be right... I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too." 

Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker. 

Don't trust little old ladies!!! 

Gay Marriage